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I’m Just Not Sure

Called To Write
December 16, 2020
A Little Claim to a Once-Small Fame
December 24, 2020

I'm Just Not Sure

Day was I'd say with certainty
Just how I knew things to be.
I'd been there and done it enough
You could bet your life on me.

I knew most of the state's laws
From years of study and enforcement.
I was familiar with land and roads.
Trust me. Count on my endorsement.

I could tell you how to get somewhere
And just how long it would take.
I was the confident, go-to guy.
I weren't nobody's cupcake.

Part of being a man I thought
Was bein' confident in your speech.
A man should never be in a quandary.
His words must inspire and teach.

Youth has a way of doin’ that,
Causin’ a man to be self assured.
I reckon it's typically caused by
Early onset of manhood bein' allured.

I ain't exactly no wise ol’ sage
These opinions are strictly my own.
Just some notions from ponderin’
As through decades I've grunted and grown.

There are sweet periods here 'n there
When an outta' work brain will drift.
Ol' Tumbleweed called it, "Windshield time".
Enlightenment is the occasional gift.

It's what a man does while strugglin’
‘Tween peach fuzz and gray stubbles.
He ponders a' sippin' and cigarin'.
Sometimes burstin’ boyhood bubbles.

See, a boy will set his eyes on
Other males as he's growin’ up.
He natcherly seeks manly approval
Whilst tumblin’ his years as a pup.

More often than not it seems
A boy's body'll reach to manhood
Years before his life experience
Gives him wisdom he's understood.

Somewhere along the journey,
God willin', a man matures.
Lady Wisdom reaches down and
Starts rewardin' as he endures.

What I've been considerin’ lately,
When contemplatin’ my ways a lot,
Is, when stating an absolute fact,
After a pause there's a tenuous caveat.

I'll say something like this,
"You head south for three, four miles
Until you see a big red barn then
Turn left just past the big rock piles."

Pause, pause, purse lips
Whilst my certainty gets rearranged.
Then I'll wink, corners of mouth upturned,
That is, if things haven't changed.

Call it wisdom, humility or both.
We should get more of each with age.
As arrogance an’ peacock struttin'
Begin, increasingly, to disengage.

Cain't say I'm particular proud
Of bein' so late to savvy-arrivin'.
A feller would'a expected sooner
Considerin' how hard I'd been a'strivin'.

Anyway son, here's at least one thing
You can trust me on that's pure.
Men get wiser and humbler with age
But then, of course I'm just not sure.

By, Rik Goodell

© 2020

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