My bride and I were at a Christmas party visiting with a friend we hadn't seen in a few years when she asked what we'd been up to and if we had done any travelling recently. We told her of a Cowboy Poetry Gathering we had just attended in Albuquerque. She asked, "What is cowboy poultry?" ... and so yet another poem was inspired.
Did you know there’s an assisted living
Just outside of Fort Worth a little ways
Made just for retired cowboys and cowgirls
It’s where the old buckaroos go to graze
I was visitin’ at that old folks home
When they asked me why I was there
“Why, to do some cowboy poetry", I said,
"It's what I came here to share”
A bow-legged galoot in the back row
Shouted, “What was that you said?”
I told him I was doin’ cowboy poetry
“Were you expectin’ something else instead?”
“No young fella, you go right on ahead
This is something I have got to see
Do you do it with chick's or turkeys
Either one'd be entertainin’ for me”
Now it was my turn to query him
“What in the world are you talkin’ about?
Never said nuthin' 'bout feathered critters
You heard something wrong no doubt”
‘You said you was gonna do cowboy poultry
I figgered that meant ropin’ a rooster
Or maybe brandin' and taggin' some hen
Along with the bird that produced her”
“So what is it that you're here to do?
Gonna dazzle us with some egg-zagerate?
Don't mean to fuss and rile mister but
Your cowboy poultry stirs some aggravate”
"Whoa, whoa!”, I hollered interruptin’
“I'm not here to talk about fowlin’
Give me a minute so I can explain
Just hold off now on all your howlin' ”
“You see you musta’ heard me wrong
It wasn't nuthin’ ‘bout poultry I said
No Sir, I wasn't no way talking birds
But giving out verse for a rhyme instead”
“Now you just wait there young fella
Why would I give you my purse for a dime?
You come in here wantin’ our money
You oughta’ be ashamed for your crime”
Oh my goodness I began thinkin'
This is going from bad to worst
How did this show get so stampeded
This ain't nuthin' a'tall like I rehearsed
This shindig's comin' apart before startin'
And I can clearly read the fresh sign
This old feller's got my tail in a knot
I cain't remember a single line
“Well”’ I said in humble apology
“My time is up now I really must go
It's sure been exceptional bein' here
I truly hope you enjoyed the show”
I trotted out to the parking lot
Feelin scattered and misused
Glad to have escaped that old timer
Who was so fearsome confused
Doin’ poetry at assisted living places
Gives new meaning to elder abuse
Cuz I'm'a card-carryin’ senior myself
And they just thoroughly cooked my goose!
by Rik Goodell
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